How I'm Doing With My Schoolwork

By Vicky

My unschoolwork is going very well, thank you for asking!

I'm reading lots of good books and keeping myself occupied with heaps of creative projects. My mind is full of ponderings and my curiosity is burgeoning! Rather than being an excuse to waste my days, my unschooling has inspired me to a full and fascinating life of discovery and exploration.





I, recently, read Tolstoy's 'Anna Karenina' and I've just begun to read Dicken's 'A Tale of Two Cities.' I've read books on encouraging creativity, mentoring children, unschooling families (Suzie Andres' Little Way of Homeschooling) and purgatory. Now, I've moved on to books about creationism and other forms of unschooling. The children have joined me in discovering old classics and indulging in quality reading on all sorts of topics. I'm well on my way to becoming well-read!

In between all this reading, I'm busying myself with completing my latest portrait, smocking sundresses, knitting a jumper, gardening and nature study. My Maths has been covered with my recent budgeting tasks and my baking efforts. My music has been taken care of with classical CDs and spiritual music, which I listen to in the car.





All in all, I think I'm getting quite a full and varied education. I'm reasonably sure that I'm covering all the key learning areas and, despite the lack of formal testing, I'm fairly sure that I'm achieving a good level of understanding.

What's that? The children? Well, actually I think they're doing quite well, too! In fact, with their energy and youthful enthusiasm, they make my unschooling look rather ordinary!





So, thank you for asking! Unschooling is working for us and life is busier, livelier and so much more exciting than it ever was before, when we allowed plans and curricula to control our learning and form our minds.

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(Just in case, I've inadvertently made myself look like Superwoman, I must point out that I'm tackling all of this in small doses and at a very leisurely pace. It's relaxed learning with no schedule and no expectations - and it feels luxuriously lazy!)

God's gaze of delight

By Anthony English

"Man is more himself, more manlike, when joy is the fundamental thing in him."

- G. K Chesterton, Orthodoxy.

In his apostolic letter Dies Domini (on the Day of the Lord), Pope John Paul II spoke of the seventh day of creation, when God "rested".

The divine rest of the seventh day does not allude to an inactive God, but emphasizes the fullness of what has been accomplished. It speaks, as it were, of God's lingering before the "very good" work (Gn 1:31) which his hand has wrought, in order to cast upon it a gaze full of joyous delight. This is a "contemplative" gaze which does not look to new accomplishments but enjoys the beauty of what has already been achieved.

That ability to see the good where it is there─rather than to focus too much on the real (or imagined) evil in people, in things─is, I think a divine gift and the secret to happiness. A contemplative gaze, a "gaze full of joyous delight", requires a day of rest, a time to stop and be thankful for the blessings God has given us. And they are many.

Gratitude and Joy

It's tempting for many to spend their time and nervous energy meditating on what has gone wrong, or what might go wrong. Sometimes God throws someone in our path to remind us to count our blessings. Sometimes it takes a stranger to remind us we've got a beautiful family. So many others are telling us "you've got your hands full", or "you've got your work cut out for you." People can spend so much of their time pointing out others' difficulties, picking out their faults. It's a recipe for misery. Our hearts were not made for such petty thoughts.

It's true that others will know we are Christians by our love. God has given us so much that is good, in both the natural and supernatural spheres, that the marks of Christianity could just as well be joy and gratitude.

In times of sorrow it is difficult to see the good, the touch of grace. But those who have done it, those who have the ability to see the goodness and blessings around them have a deep peace and joy. And with that peace which the world cannot give, they are able to share their peace and joy with others.

Joy is the fundamental thing

Chesterton spoke of this joyous outlook in his wonderful book Orthodoxy:

Man is more himself, man is more manlike, when joy is the fundamental thing in him, and grief the superficial. Melancholy should be an innocent interlude, a tender and fugitive frame of mind; praise should be the permanent position of the soul. Pessimism is at best an emotional half-holiday; joy is the uproarious labour by which all things live.

There are so many of us overwhelmed with anxiety and fears, living in a world of the imagination, that we miss the goodness which God has poured into everything. "What if this [insert your favourite fear] happens? What if everything goes wrong?" Even our imaginations can benefit from penance from time to time. Stewing over the possible evils we may face rarely leads to peace of heart.

For those who are overwhelmed by financial or emotional insecurity, a day of rest seems to be just what the Divine doctor ordered. It is a time to embrace God's "gaze of delight", to step back and see that life is good, full of blessings. It is those who manage to see the finger of divine providence in all the circumstances of life who are most happy.

Stories of Grief, Love and Hope

By Sue Elvis

Some years ago, I used to say, “I’m ready to do Your Will, Lord but please don’t send me any suffering.” Perhaps this wasn’t much of an offering. I knew suffering would involve much pain and I was afraid.

Often when I try to push fears to the back of my mind, God arranges matters so that I have to face whatever I feel I can’t deal with. And this was the case in 1999 when, for the first time in my life, I was plunged into a sea of suffering like nothing I’d ever experienced before. One day I was in full control of my life, the next, my world was in pieces and I was choked with the feeling that I wouldn’t survive. Finding out that our unborn baby was unlikely to survive after birth was a very frightening, distressing feeling and I was full of panic as I looked ahead to what should have been a happy event in our lives.

The next five months were a mixture of calm as I tried to place my trust in God, and despair as I contemplated holding our dead child in my arms. How could a mother be expected to survive the death of her own child? I prayed so much during those months asking God for a miracle of healing for our child.

Thomas was born and it was soon obvious that God had not healed him. There are not enough words to describe our pain and suffering. We watched Thomas been wheeled away to the intensive care unit, seconds after his birth, and our first look at him came hours later: a tiny body hooked up to a life support machine. Thomas lived 28 hours and that time seemed like months. We arrived back home 48 hours after setting off for the hospital and it was inconceivable that we had been away for such a short time. Our lives had been changed forever and it was difficult to come home and pick up the threads of everyday life…

This is the start to one of my Thomas stories. It comes from my book Grief, Love and Hope.

I started writing my Thomas Stories quite a few years ago. At first I just wanted to record our son’s life. He lived for only a fleeting moment and I wanted to say, “I have a son. His name is Thomas. He didn’t live very long but his life was valuable. And we love him so very much.”

Later a friend suggested I share my stories so that I could connect with other bereaved parents. Grieving is such a lonely existence. Sometimes we feel we are going crazy. Does anyone else feel like we do? And does anyone survive the deep sorrow of losing a child? By sharing we can encourage each other, give hope and lessen that feeling of isolation.

I wrote my first Thomas Stories for a homeschooling newsletter. Then I gathered these stories together, and added some more: my book Grief, Love and Hope came into existence.

After the publication of the book, I was very surprised to find I had still more to say about Thomas. He might have lived only for one day but he has affected our lives forever. I am continually amazed how our son works his way into my writing. So more Thomas Stories were written and I have been posting them on my blog Sue Elvis Writes, as well as on The Apostolate of Hannah’s Tears blog.

But now I feel my stories need a home of their own, a blog just for Thomas. So I have created Stories of Grief, Love and Hope.

I will be gathering all my Thomas stories together and posting them on this new blog. Some you will find in my book Grief, Love and Hope. And some have been published on other blogs. I am sure Thomas will keep on inspiring new stories so there will probably be entirely new posts too.

I would also like to write about the experience of miscarriage after losing seven little souls much too early.

Maybe you have experienced the sorrow of losing a child yourself, or you might be supporting the bereaved, or maybe you’d just like to learn more about the experience of grief.

If you would like to share my stories of our precious son, please visit my new blog, Stories of Grief, Love and Hope. I would feel very honoured if you read my posts.

And if you know of anyone who is suffering and might want to connect with another bereaved parent, I would be grateful if you told them about my blog.

Please visit Sue Elvis Writes and Stories of Grief, Love and Hope

A Liberating Education

I would like to welcome Willa to the Australian Catholic Families blog. She has kindly agreed to share a post as a guest blogger. Although Willa lives a long distance away in the USA, we have become good friends. This post is the result of a conversation we had regarding the dress codes at the Thomas Aquinas College, California. Willa's daughter attends this Catholic Liberal Arts College. Many of you will be familiar with a similar college, Campion College in Sydney. I am sure you will enjoy Willa's thoughts on Catholic Colleges and education. Thank you, Willa.

A little while ago, my friend-from-the-other-side-of-the-world Sue Elvis asked me to write about the Catholic college, my daughter is attending. I had described bits of it in a comment on her blog -- how in the classes the young men and women wear collared shirts and nice slacks, not jeans (if young men) and dresses or skirts (if young women), how they address each other as Mr and Miss during class time, and how I thought that contributed to a culture of respect and seriousness as they read great books of the Catholic tradition and discuss them in seminar format.

Besides that, I wasn’t sure what else to say! What would interest Australian Catholic readers in hearing about a small Great Books college in California? (Well, Cardinal Pell did come to this same college to deliver a commencement address, but besides that too?) Could I say anything that wasn’t already over there on the college’s site?

While I was thinking about it, I could hear strains of music floating up from the kitchen where my daughter was enjoying her summer break by cooking something. The music was a CD of a concert that one of her tutors had performed on campus during the school year. He has a beautiful low tenor or baritone and was singing a wide variety of songs, including a rendition of On the Road to Mandalay, a Victorian song based on the poem by Kipling, which keeps running through my head as I type! The college schedules a series of concerts every year and often draws on the talent within its own bounds, since many of the students and faculty are musically gifted.

From many things my daughter has said to me, one of the best parts of college to her is getting to know adults (and some fellow students, too) who are not only intelligent and devout in the practice of their faith, but also interesting human beings. And more than that, lifelong learners. This particular tutor is taking voice lessons. Other tutors raise tarantulas or climb mountains during their holiday breaks. The school psychologist and his wife have raised a large family who are all talented Irish dancers, singers and violinists who have toured professionally. .

Some of the tutors are college alumni, and some of the students attending the college are the children or siblings of alumni. Many of the graduates from the college have gone on to do noteworthy things -- some went on to further scholarly work in different fields, some are writers, some founded Catholic elementary or secondary schools, a significant number took religious vows or entered the priesthood, and many others are mothers or fathers of families. The influence of the learning environment ripples outward just the way I now have some old songs running through my head even though I do not know Clare’s musical tutor personally and was not there to hear him sing.

This made me think about what learning is about and what we hope for when we send our children to college. Surely we hope that while there, they will be supported in their faith, that they will be treated with dignity, that they will learn how the parts (the subjects) fits in with the whole, and that they will move closer to being the people that God wants them to become. Class time is only a part of this project of emerging from childhood into adult life. There are many ways, of course, for this to happen, and not everyone needs to go to college, particularly not to a particular tiny college in the California foothills. Yet the fact that there is an option like this is encouraging to those who are interested in Catholic formation.

To some, having a dress code for classes and meals, and a requirement of addressing each other by honorific prefixes, might seem restrictive and old-fashioned, especially in informal places like southern California. Yet you can see it another way. Dressing well and speaking with courtesy is what adults do to show respect for each other and to themselves.

And to some, learning ends when you graduate from school, whenever that might be; learning ends when you have your “ticket” out into the job market. Maybe you might take some classes to keep up in your profession or industry, but many will give up any thought of continuing to read seriously outside of their field, or learn a new skill, or develop a latent talent.

Yet surely one of the most important things we can teach our young people is how rich life is -- how life is about more than just making money and passing time; it is about learning to be a human, and that learning is lifelong and deeply related to Christian themes of seeking for wisdom and sharing it with others. We all benefit when someone near us gets passionately interested in something and shares this interest with us. It broadens our world. It is like a seed planted, or a gift given.

At my daughter’s college, the tutors, and the grown alumni, and other adults, are inviting the students to see that learning is not just about assimilating what the “experts” pass down, until you can become an expert yourself. It’s about engaging in real things, things of lasting value, and acknowledging that you bachelor of arts degree is just a beginning, not an end, to lifelong learning.

Please visit Willa's blog, The Quotidian Reader

Would anyone like to write about their experiences of Campion College?

When You Just Want to Run and Hide

By Natalie@Trusting God Each Day

Sometimes life just gets too hard and we want to run and hide from the world.  But we can’t.  We have little people depending on us for their every need and we simply need to mother them, even if all we want is for someone to mother us.  So, how do we keep going?

• Go to another room, shut the door and take a deep breath (any room is fine, even the toilet, as long as you are on your own).  Say a prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to guide you in all you do today.  Try to remember that God is in control of your day, and He trusts that you can do what He has planned for you to do.  Even though there may still be chaos outside, you can leave the room and face it, knowing you are doing so with the help of God.
• Be patient with yourself and remember that this is just a season.  These times happen to everyone and sometimes it is just a matter of getting through it, especially if you are the mother of very young children.  My baby just turned one, and I realised I have just gotten out of my ‘baby funk’.  In the last couple of weeks, I  have realised that I am much more willing to go out and do things, whereas before I just wanted to stay home and be a hermit.  I just had to accept that this too, would pass.
• Change it up a bit.  One morning the children were going a bit wild, and I was at my wits end.  It had been a horrible morning, and I needed to get the baby to sleep.  So I asked them to build a big tent from chairs and sheets while I was getting him to sleep and we would have a little picnic. He didn’t sleep for long anyway, but it was long enough for us all to reconnect and have a fun little picnic (which really only included crackers and chips because I like to do it the easy way J)
• Keep your eyes on Jesus.  Pray whenever it comes to mind.  Thank Him for everything – as soon as you notice a blessing in your life, give God thanks. And remember to thank Him for this hard time in your life – you are growing through it, even if it doesn’t seem like it now.  Ask the Holy Spirit for help.  He won’t let you down.  Jesus promised the Holy Spirit would be our helper, and he truly is.  Sometimes my brain is in such a fog and I can’t for the life of me think of what to cook for dinner at night because of our many food restrictions.  I will usually pray about it, and would you believe, I always get an answer.  Ask Him to help you with all your needs, even the seemingly insignificant.
• Bundle the children up and go for a walk.  Although may take a lot of time and effort to prepare for the walk, the results are worth it.  I am allergic ;) to exercise, and will try my best to avoid it, but I have decided it is time to make it part of our weekly routine.  It takes about an hour to prepare and about 20 minutes to walk to the park with several attempts at getting the children to walk in a group, but when we get to the park it is fun.  We kick a ball, swing, run around and just get rid of that extra energy (well, the children get rid of it – I somehow gain it).
• Make a cuppa and sit outside.  Put the baby in the swing, and just watch your children having fun.  Enjoy their silly antics.  Laugh with them.  Live in the moment.  Relax.  This will brighten your spirits.
• Do you have a favourite candle or aromatherapy fragrance?  My favourite candle is Dusk’s ‘Harmony’.  I will often light one of these in the kitchen whilst I am cooking dinner.  It just helps to gently calm me.  Whatever aromatherapy mix you use, try to include lavender too – it helps to calm everybody.  If you use aromatherapy oils, please make sure you only use pure oils, not ‘fragrances’.  Fragrances are too synthetic and are more likely to cause headaches and grumpiness (this goes for scented candles too).
• Bach Rescue Remedy, or Brauer Calm (available from Health food shops and chemists) are helpful if you are feeling edgy and grumpy.  A Beroccawill give you energy if the thought of one more thing to do makes you cry. When I was pregnant with Jack, the thought of making dinner each night would have me in tears, so I would take a Berocca in the afternoon and it would give me that extra boost I needed to get me through the next few hours.
• Play some music – either something calming to help you relax a bit, or upbeat that begs you to dance or sing loudly, or just be plain silly - for this you might need Colin Buchanan or Veggie Tales.  Here's one on YouTube to get you started.
• Have something to look forward to, and put it on the calendar.  I usually get movie tickets for Christmas from my hubby as he knows that one of my favourite things to do is to go and watch a movie on my own.  There is no one I need to talk to (and hardly anyone else in our quiet cinema either) and I can just be transported for a couple of hours.  Or plan a special night for you and your husband.  We always look forward to our date nights. Sometimes just having something planned to look forward to can help you get through the tough times now.
• Put a movie on for the children while the baby is sleeping.  Sit down and relax in another room for as long as they let you.  And don't feel guilty.
• If all else fails, HIDE!  Ring your mum or an understanding friend and ask them to come and look after your children for half an hour while you lock yourself in a room and refocus.  For Mother’s Day I encouraged Rose to make me some vouchers to help look after the littlies instead of spending money on a gift.  I cashed in one of these vouchers the other day when Ireally needed some space.
  Please visit Natalie at Trusting God Each Day

The Joys and Frustrations of Being a Creative Mother

By Sue Elvis

Our house is Mary’s house. Pictures of Our Lady adorn every wall, and my favourite of all is the one drawn for me by my sister Vicky.

It is a pencil drawing based on Raphael’s Madonna della Seggiola. Vicky gave it to me, and for many years, it remained rolled up in a protective cylinder awaiting a frame and a picture hook. When we moved to a house of our own, several years ago, and I was allowed to knock as many nails into the walls as I desired, I unrolled my treasure. I framed the drawing and hung it in the lounge as part of my ‘gallery’, a row of pictures that are especially dear to me.

I cannot draw. My penciled people don’t even look as good as stick figures, and so I am in awe of Vicky’s talent. It seems rather miraculous to me that she is able to create such beautiful images. I watch transfixed as her pencil flies confidently over the paper.

But even though I am not an artist I feel a bond with Vicky. I understand her need to create. I also have an urge to make something unique, something beautiful, something that expresses the inner me.  I guess that drive, to bring something individual and beautiful into being,  is a faint reflection of God’s creative ability. We, who are born in His image, want to imitate our Maker. But for me, creation does not result in exquisite works of art. On the days when I am bursting with the need to make something, I will sew an embellished skirt for one of my daughters, or a fluffy rabbit with clothes for all occasions for my Goddaughter, or an intricate, redwork embroidery for a friend. Or create a story. What satisfaction there is in finding just the right words to convey an idea or conjure up a picture in the mind.

For a mother, there are often times when creativity must be put aside. The demands of children take first place. That longing to create when it is impossible can be frustrating. There have been times in the past, when I’ve wanted to sew but my arms have been full with a needy baby. Or I have wanted to sit at my computer and let the words flow onto the screen but I have had to nurse a sick child. There have been times when I have just entered that higher plane of creation and then had to bump suddenly back down to earth at the cry of, “Mum, I need…” How difficult that can be. But recently, with my children growing up, I have regained my own quiet time. And how I appreciate being able to use it to create.

I think of Vicky and her talents. I know there are many times she’d like to move into that other world of creation together with her paints or her pencils, but she can’t. Her little creations here in the real world are still demanding her attention.

 I came across a poem by Jan Owens which expresses this dilemma perfectly. In Young Woman Gathering Lemons, a young pregnant mother notices the light gleaming off the lemons she is gathering from a tree. She has an urge to capture the colours on canvas but she knows she hasn’t the time to create, and so tears fall from her eyes. Then her child tugs on her dress and she gives her attention to what is really most important in her life.

 ‘Who’s got a silly old mother, then?’

 She kneels to hug him close and breathe him in:

It dizzies her, the fragrance of his skin.

He nuzzles under the hair come loose.

The fallen lemons, nippled gold,

wait round them in the grass.

Vicky has drawn many pictures of Mary. It is one of her favourite subjects which makes me smile. I remember when Vicky, my sister-in faith, told me she believed in the truth of the Real Presence. She knew she wanted to join the Catholic Church. But there was still so much she felt uncomfortable with: “Sue, I am not at all sure about Mary. I don’t think I could have a devotion to her. It doesn’t feel right.”

I told Vicky not to worry. “Give it time, Vicky. Keep reading and keep praying. I am sure you will come to love Mary. You will soon think of her as a mother.” And as the Holy Spirit worked within Vicky, she came to accept and be thankful for the gift of Our Blessed Mother, whom she’d previously been wary of.

And looking at Vicky’s artwork and her favourite subject, there is no doubt in my mind that my sister loves Our Lady so very much.

Vicky once said to me, “Sue, what will I do with all my time when I no longer have a baby who needs me?” Again, I told her not to worry.  I am sure my sister is going to be very busy sharing her talents. She will create beautiful religious images that will capture our hearts and turn our thoughts to God. Or she will delight us with her unique portraits.

Update: Vicky has created her own blog, Victoria Leach- Portrait Art and a connected website. You can visit Vicky's website to enjoy a gallery of her work. Vicky is sharing her works in progress, as well as her entertaining articles of artistic hints, on her blog. Please visit and stop and say hello. She will be most encouraged if you take the time to make a comment. 

Please share more of my stories at my own blog Sue Elvis Writes

PS Vicky's drawing is much more beautiful that my blurry photo.

Table Manners

By Erin @ Seven Little Australians and Counting
Table Manners is an ongoing process and something my husband and I believe important. Growing up I remember my father being emphatic that boys should not turn up to the table bare chested and your chair must remain on four legs, my mother was emphatic that each meal was worthy of a tablecloth, my husband's mother is emphatic as to what is regarded as 'polite table talk'. These habits are ingrained in my husband and I, and in turn we have passed these on, but we still have other areas to cultivate.

Table manners add or detract to the atmosphere of a meal. Whether it is your own child or a visiting child, behaviour at the table can't help but be noticable.

It appears that our six year old feels rather strongly about table manners too as she has been begging me to hang a 'manners chart' on the wall. To this end I have been searching for one, I found a list but after discussion with some of my favourite people, I decided to adjust the list as I realised that each family have their own unique areas that need cultivating.

I share with your our list, please feel free to take it and adjust to suit your own unique needs.
I'd also like to draw your attention to a fascinating good manners chart which covers far more than just table manners. The 'Good Manners' chart was first issued to Queensland schools in 1898 by the Department of Public Instruction as part of the systematic teaching of conduct and manners. The chart was based on rules formulated by the Children's National Guild of Courtesy which had been founded in UK elementary schools in 1889.

Table Manners

Wash your hands and face before sitting down.

Come to the table when called.

No books at the table.

Sit up straight, knees down and forward facing to the table. Sit on your bottom.

Wait until everyone is seated and served before beginning Grace.

Wait until Grace is said before beginning eating. Do not interrupt during Grace.

Don't interrupt conversations; wait your turn to talk.

Only engage in 'polite table talk.'

Look after other people; do not help yourself only.

Ask politely for dishes to be passed. Never reach across the table.

Do not be greedy.

Keep your elbows off table.

Turn your head away from table and cover your mouth to sneeze or cough.

Wipe your hands on your napkin, not your shirt or tablecloth,

Never chew with your mouth open.

Never talk with a mouth full of food.

Use utensils quietly without banging them on the table or plate.

Use a bread and butter plate for your bread.

Do not eat off your knife.

Ask to be excused from the table before you leave.

Thank your hostess for the meal, thank all for their company.

Clear your plate from the table and take it into the kitchen

Please read more of Erin's posts at Seven Little Australians and Counting.