Unschooling: The Little Way

Written by Sue Elvis

I would like to tell you a story of Suzie Andres and St Therese and homeschooling. But first I must start with a tale of grief. Grief? Yes, it was through grief I first met St Therese and her Little Way.

Our son Thomas died as a baby and I grieved for a long time. But one day the pain lifted slightly and I felt pure joy and was glad to be suffering for God. Love overflowed my heart and I suddenly had the urge to suffer anything for God. I wanted to be a saint. And not just a little saint but a big one. I felt I could follow in the footsteps of St Teresa of Avila or St John of the Cross, whose books I was reading at the time. But this worthy thought lasted only a moment. With the next wave of grief came the plea, “I’ve had enough. Please help me, Lord.”

I had a prayer card. I can’t remember exactly what was on it but I knew I was a bit afraid of it. The words said something like “I offer my whole life to suffer greatly for the souls of my family and friends.” Perhaps there was something about how this life on earth is so short and we should suffer as much as possible while here. And there is nothing better we can do than to ask for suffering that will win the eternal souls of our loved ones.

I agreed entirely with the thoughts on the prayer card but I couldn’t pray the words. I’d pick up the card and read the words but I always made sure God knew I wasn’t really praying them. I was frightened. I knew what suffering was. I was right in the middle of it. How could I suffer this for the rest of my life? Some days I just begged God to take away the pain. No, I wasn’t made of the right stuff to be a big saint. However much I wanted to be big, I knew I was really just a little soul. I just wanted God to lift me right up in His arms and take care of me and make things right.

Then I discovered St Therese of Liseaux. Of course, I’d heard about her but I’d been avoiding her. I remember a friend telling me that she’d chosen Teresa of Avila as her patron saint and not Therese of Liseaux. The reason? The friend had always had this idea since childhood that The Little Flower was a sickly sweet saint, a saint without substance. I needed big help from a big inspiring strong saint. So I turned to St Teresa of Avila. I knew she’d suffered greatly. What was that famous quote? Something like “God if this is how You treat Your friends, it’s no wonder You don’t have many of them.” I was going to be one of God’s few friends. So I read The Complete Works of St Teresa of Avila and then went onto The Complete Works of St John of the Cross. And I tried to follow in their footsteps. But it was too difficult.  I wasn’t brave. I didn’t really want to suffer. I wasn’t a saint.

Then somehow I came into contact with St Therese of Liseaux regardless of my belief she couldn’t help me. I read The Story of a Soul, and later, I Believe in Love and I discovered The Little Way. Suddenly I realised that maybe I could still become a saint after all. Not a big saint but a little one, a little one supported by God’s arms. I could be a full little cup instead of a full big cup.  Or perhaps, as Suzie Andres would say, I could become a great saint through the little way of love. I started taking life one day at a time, not asking for suffering, but asking God instead to help me accept and bear whatever came my way.

But what has grief got to do with homeschooling? Just as I wanted to be a big saint so I wanted to be the perfect mother and educator of my children. I made big plans, bought the right resources, did my research. How could I fail? But some days I suffered. There were times when I just wanted to lie down and never get up again. “I can’t do this God. It’s too big a task. I can’t give my children all they need. I don’t have the inner resources to give them the perfect education. I am not enjoying this at all. It was never meant to be this way.” How would I teach my children everything I thought they needed to know? Some days they seemed to learn nothing. Other things got in the way or they were uncooperative, not fitting in with my grand plan. Were my children getting ‘behind’? Was I jeopardizing their futures?

I thought about the alternatives, about sending my children to school and I realised I didn’t have a choice. The educating job was mine and mine alone.

Gradually I changed my style of teaching my children. I stopped making plans we never got around to using. I stopped writing timetables that we were unable to keep up with. I didn’t worry about completing particular curricula. I decided to just enjoy my children and trust that they would learn as we spent our days sharing and doing things together and just being a family. We had discovered unschooling. In public, I called our homeschooling method ‘doing our own thing’. I’d vaguely refer to good books, enjoying our interests, music, writing… But to myself I called it ‘my lazy way’. Yes, there was a bit of guilt. Should we enjoy homeschooling together so much? Shouldn’t homeschooling be a bit more difficult? Perhaps we were just being lazy.  Maybe I’d just given up.

Then I discovered Suzie Andres’ book A Little Way of Homeschooling. I jumped up and down with excitement. It all made perfect sense. We were following St Therese’s Little Way while we were homeschooling. I’d given up trying to be the big saint, that perfect mother and homeschooling parent. Instead of trying to educate my children on my own, I was listening to God and to my children. I trust they will learn what they need to know. I no longer worry about that endless list of absolutely essential knowledge I thought I should stuff into my children. I am now living each day, one day at a time. I don’t believe God means homeschooling to be difficult. I don’t see homeschooling as a sacrifice and a suffering that I am just meant to endure and offer up. I think God wants us to delight in our children. And to trust in Him.

There are so many wonderful excerpts I could quote from A Little Way of Homeschooling. Here are just a few, written by Suzie, I hope you will enjoy and find helpful.

Therese was a realist, and knew there was work to be done, but she decided to do whatever came here way without fear without worrying about the outcome, without the false notion that it depended on her…

… I think that one of our methods for multiplying worries is telling ourselves that our job in educating our children is to do our best, to pack as much knowledge into them as possible. How much more profitable to us to begin from Therese’s reminder, “It’s only in Heaven that we’ll see the whole truth about everything. This is impossible on earth.”

God will give each of us the time that we need to learn everything He wants us to know; this applies to both ourselves and our children. Why do we expect we must teach it all to our children in our homeschool? And why do we automatically assume that this burden of prospective learning will be painful for them, arduous for us? There is a less frightening way….

… In the spirit of St Therese, we as Catholics ought to realise that Jesus has set us free. If we believe His words, if we strive to believe Him more and more, we will start by living one day at a time, letting tomorrow take care of itself. Already we will have made progress if we refuse to see the whole future of a child contained in today’s accomplishments, successes and failures…

…Spend time listening to Him, and let Him tell you what He desires for your family. It may be unschooling… Whatever it is, you will recognise it by the peace it brings to you and your children. Do not settle for anything else.

Yes, peace.

Eventually I felt peace despite my grief as I started living one day at a time: “I accept how I feel. You allow this grief. But I need You to help me through the day.” I began to trust God. He was looking after me. And peace followed.

In the same way, I know God is looking after our homeschooling family. When I started listening, He led us to unschooling. And I know this is what He desires for us. I can feel it. No longer do I feel guilty. Instead I can feel peace… real peace.

A Little Way of Homeschooling is available both as a paperback book, and an ebook as epub and Kindle editions. I thoroughly recommend Suzie’s book.


Please share more of my posts on my blog Sue Elvis Writes

Theodore Luxton-Joyce Lovable Eccentric

Theodore Luxton-Joyce is a lovable English eccentric from Scottish descent who lives in a world of his own. His every thought and action are motivated by genuine kindness and generosity, yet although he gives the impression that he doesn’t think things through properly, the reality is that he thinks them through all right but he does so somewhat late, with humorous consequences for those around him.

This book contains a selection of short stories about Theodore Luxton-Joyce, a man born at a time when the world was a different place altogether. 

You can download this E Book FREE from HERE

Also available on AMAZON Kindle from HERE

Stay-at-Home-Mom Blues

I would like to thank Theresa Thomas for the following contribution. 

Theresa is a Catholic wife and homeschooling mother of nine. She is the co-author of the book Stories for the Homeschool Heart; family columnist for Today's Catholic News; a story contributor to Amazing Grace for Mothers, Amazing Grace for Fathers, and Amazing Grace for Families and she writes for the website Integrated Catholic Life, a site dedicated to helping Catholics integrate their faith in everyday situations.

Theresa is currently working on a second book to be published by Scepter Publishing entitled Big Hearted Families with Patti Armstrong mother of ten - 8 biological and 2 adopted. It will be stories of families who have been open to life (in many different ways) and the blessings that this has brought to them. 

Please share Theresa's article Stay-at-Home Mom Blues...

Hey, mama!

Yes, you with the baby in your arms…

I see you, out there, sitting at your table, your desk, or your kitchen island, and I notice you are a little discouraged. You switched on the computer a few minutes ago to check your mail and a couple websites, the most exciting contact you’ll have with the outside world today, in between your hourly dates with your almost-potty-trained toddler in the bathroom and picking up Cheerios off the floor of the kitchen for the umpteenth time. You are disheartened, tired.  Maybe you passed a mirror earlier today and thought to yourself, Where is that super-trim figure I had in college? Didn’t my step used to have a little more bounce? Why am I doing this?

You love your family with ferocity but you are just running out of steam. Your husband is working hard to allow you this privilege of staying home with your children, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like a privilege. You may even feel like it would be easier to get an outside job...

You may feel that you do the same thing over and over, and the days blur together. You have always held that moms should be present in the home during a child’s early years. You believed it with all your heart the day you got married and you believe it now. You want to be the best mom you can be, but somehow that rings a little hollow at the moment, as you break up a tussle between two preschoolers wanting the same Thomas the Tank Engine cover, quickly throw in some laundry and get back in the room with the little ones before someone gets hurt. Is this how it is supposed to go? You ask. You wonder.

May I offer something? ... Read More

Theresa Thomas

Co-Author of Stories for the Homeschool Heart (Bezalel Books, 2010 & winner of About.com Best Catholic Book of 2010)

Family Columnist Today’s Catholic News

Contributing Writer Integrated Catholic Life

Email: TheresaThomasEverydayCatholic@gmail.com

Stories for the Homeschool Heart Blog

Stories for the Homeschool Heart Facebook Page

A CRY FROM THE HEART

FATHER FRANCIS MAPLE

This song by Father Francis has saved 20 babies from abortion.

LYRICS

Mommy keep me safe, mommy keep me warm

Handle me with care, mommy help me to form.

I am ten weeks old, and I know the time will come

when you will give birth to me.

The gift you gave to me are a pair of bright blue eyes

So some day I will see you smile and love me.

I've already got my arms and a little podgy nose,

And at the end of my feet I've got five little toes.

I look forward to my life, ice cream and slimy snails,

teddy bears and little fairy tales.

Going for walks in the park

Running home before it's dark.

And being tucked into bed with a kiss.

Where are we going today?

Am I in a boat or bus?

Why are we lying down?

Being drawn on four wheels?

And we go through the door

and there's people dressed in green.

Everything seems so strange and so clean.

Mommy if they hurt you just let out a scream

and I know someone will come to help you and me.

Mommy what's going on I am starting to cry

Come quickly they are forcing me to die.

They are killing me mommy, they are pulling me apart

My arms and my legs and now they're at my heart.

And I won't see the sky, or the grass or the trees.

and I won't see the moon, or feel the breeze.

I love you mommy dear, you know I really do

But I only wish you could have loved me too!

This pro-life song written by Father Francis Maple has saved at least 20 babies. Their mothers were considering abortion but changed their minds after hearing this song.

Please consider seriously posting this song and lyrics on your Blog and send it to family and friends. The more it is heard the greater the possibility it may save yet another life. Thank you.

Other songs by Father Francis are on You Tube. Search for Father Francis Maple.

God bless.

Pizza for those Italian Saints

As we move through the liturgical year, we often find ourselves celebrating the lives of Saints of Italian origin.

As we cook our way through the liturgical year, we often find ourselves making Italian food.

Not a hardship at all for our family!

The trick for us is finding easy, quick, inexpensive recipes that all will eat.

Pizza is always a big favorite here.

And it is so much cheaper to make your own pizza.

With whatever toppings our family desires...tonight it was fresh tomato, herbs and bocconcini cheese...

So, here is the very easy, super simple pizza dough we make.

2 cups plain flour
1 x 8 g sachet of dry yeast
1 teaspoon sugar
Pinch salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
¾ cup warm water


Combine dry ingredients in large mixing bowl and add oil and water.
Mix to a soft dough.
Knead on a floured surface until soft and pliable.
Return to the mixing bowl and cover with cling wrap and leave in a warm spot for 30 minutes. The dough should double in size.
When it has risen, 'punch' the dough once to remove air bubbles.
Remove from bowl and knead gently for 1 minute.
Roll the dough out to desired size and add favourite toppings.

There you have it! A simple pizza dough and a start to this year's liturgical cooking.

I Confess

Posted by Victor S E Moubarak. Visit him at TIME FOR REFLECTIONS.

Family Rosary

Written by Gae
The children come quietly into the family room carrying their Rosaries in hand and the booklets they have to help them meditate on the Mysteries. Each child goes to the place in the room that they feel most comfortable to pray. They kneel look over to me as I finish feeding the baby and start to take this sweet dumpling up to his bed.
While I am gone Daddy reads a short bible story from our picture bible, mainly for our little children.
As I come back down stares I glance at the clock and see that it is 7:30pm, it is perfect timing as usual.

I come back into the room cuddle our next little one who has her Rosary beads all ready. She looks at mine and asks sweetly if we can trade tonight. I let her and we look at Daddy as the signal to begin.

At this everyone except me with the sweet snugly one kneel to pray and we being the nightly process -
'In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit........"

During the Rosary our little ones curl up next to an older child and nearly drop off to sleep. Each child know when it it their child to lead a decade and we have a most meditative and rewarding prayer time.

Twenty minutes later the younger children say good night to everyone with hugs and kisses and softly start up to bed, being very quiet so as not to wake the baby. The older children take up their reflective reading and spend some more quiet time together.

I know you all have families who pray the Rosary like this!

Sadly this is not how our family does either. As I was typing this our I wondered would there ever be a time in our lives when we would pray the Rosary like this.
Perhaps! When we do not have little ones to participate in our prayer time. However that in itself will be a  sad time for me I am sure.

Our Family Rosary is a little  very much different form the perfect scenario I described.

Let me give you a little sneak peak~
The time, well the time can be anything from 7:00pm onwards and sometimes way past our little peoples bedtime. Oh and read carefully, sometimes we do not say the Rosary AT ALL - GASP. SHOCK, HORROR.

Yes you did read that right. We are a Rosary loving family but we go through stages where  we just don't pray it together every night. Our goal is to pray daily as a family, but that family goes through well, 'stuff' that means we fall of the 'Rosary Wagon' every so often.

So on those nights when we pray our Rosary as a Family it more likely resembles this~
Mum calling all the children from all over the house. We have a large house and some children will be finishing up the Dinner clean up. Others will be helping to get our little ones ready for bed; teeth cleaned, toilet stops etc.
I usually am feeding our little dumpling (that part is true from the ideal picture above) and sometimes he even goes to sleep.
Some of the children come when called but experience has shown that there are always stragglers to the family room and no one wants to just hang around waiting for the stragglers. So it becomes a situation of calling for the stragglers while keeping those who came after leaving their own individual pursuits to remain in the room waiting for said stragglers.

Of course then there is the battle  choosing of spots ready to pray. I would love to say we all knelled down for the Rosary, and there was a time when we did, but I find it difficult when holding a little one or too far pregnant and I do believe the children got out of the habit as I came to full term.

We usually then have more than one child want to 'sit next to mummy' or 'I was just about to sit in that spot' issues to deal with which lead to more waiting time.
I suppose this could be avoided if we started without some of the children or adults BUT I do believe that if we are praying together as a family then we show respect and courtesy by waiting for ALL family members to be present. Sure we might get finished quicker but I think it effectively diminishes the value of family prayer and devalues the weight of an individual if we start without them. In effect  it says you are not really very important to this family activity and your prayers are not valued either.

On with the story ~
During the Rosary we usually have the baby babbling, the special needs boy fidgeting a bit (or a lot) depending on how his day has gone. Our other special girl, 99 our of 100 times falls asleep during this time and has to be carried up to bed. Sometimes we have even had a race to see who can lead the decade first! We have had older people fall asleep and only a few end up praying. I am sure I could think of a few more examples to shock you with but I wont go on.

Why not......you were enjoying how lacking in piety we are!

Well believe it or not we really do have a devotion to praying the Rosary as I am sure a lot lot of other families do. I do believe we are doing this to the best of our ability.....not perfect but as best we can for OUR FAMILY, RIGHT NOW AS WE ARE NOW.

Change will come upon our family you can be sure. In fact I see a change again for us in the coming year, and yet we will continue to pray the Rosary as best we can - and perhaps if we are truly blessed we will become that perfect Rosary praying family!!

However I do believe that  God reads our hearts and intentions and I can say that our intentions are pure, even if our 'follow through' is not up to standard. I do  think it important that we lead our little ones in prayer and that it is a VERY important part of our training our children.

However I also believe that prayer is a conversation with God  and how we show our love and respect to the children in our families as they 'interupt ' our perfect Rosary/prayer time, can be a great example of having a servants heart and drawing our children toward God.

And is that not what we are called to do..........to lead our children to their Heavenly Father!

If you enjoyed this post perhaps you would enjoy more about our family at my blog ~ Cherished Hearts At Home

Blessings to you and your homes,